In the Integrity Audit exercise, I ended with the recommendation to pick at least one lie or dishonest/misaligned behavior in your life and eliminate it.
The following exercise makes it easier for you to actually do this, in practice.
Look at your list from the Integrity Audit and see if you can pick out the following:
What’s the most costly lie in your life right now?
The business I’ve committed the last 3 years to is not working and I want to quit.
Which would be the easiest lie to eliminate?
I often say “yes” to social invitations when I really don’t feel like it.
Don’t overthink it, this is more about calibration than finding the perfect answer.
The ideal lie to start with is usually one in between those two.
The costliest lie is hard to eliminate as a first step, because doing so will often be highly disruptive to one’s life and it requires a lot of courage. The easiest lie to eliminate is also not the best place to start because it might not lead to much of a difference in one’s life.
So the question is: what is a lie in your life that makes a difference but isn’t super scary to confront?
An example from my own life would be this:
I never ask for alone time in my relationship, even when I feel the need for it.
This is typical people-pleasing behavior and I used to do it all the time. Not asking for alone time was one of my dishonest/misaligned behaviors (which also turns into literal lies - when my partner asked me if I wanted to spend time together I’d lie “yes” and if she asked if anything was wrong I’d lie that “everything is fine”).
It wasn’t my worst offense, but it was a recurring pattern and it did take some courage to confront it.
Now it’s your turn: pick one lie from your list and commit to eliminating it for at least one week.
Then, we’ll look at how to do this: